Q: Why, why, why, does he continue drinking/using, even though it is obvious how destructive his substance abuse is?
A: He uses for the sheer pleasure of it.
There are no other reasons, but only excuses.
• For example, he’s not in denial.
He knows very well that his drinking/using is causing most of his problems.
• Nor does he have a disease that compels him to grab his favorite fix.
Addiction is a choice he makes every day.
• Does he really drink/use to relax?
If you knew how his drink/fix makes him feel, you’d know he’s just getting high.
Theres nothing wrong with him!
He may have other health problems, even mental health problems, but those are irrelevant to why he uses alcohol and other drugs.
We call those excuses the Addictive Voice. All addicted people think and speak in a special language that perpetuates their pleasure addictions.
We call his love of alcohol and other drugs the Beast.
He loves addictive pleasures more than anything else
more than you, more than his health, more than his happiness.
He has become his animal desire for pleasure.
His addiction leaves you in a very dark place,
as you watch him and the family deteriorate,
feeling frightened, depressed, and angry.
Just when you’re feeling your worst, he is often on Cloud 9,
high as a kite, feeling good all over, from head to toe. At other times, while you are feeling very bad, hes up on Cloud 36!
Of course, hell say hes just relaxing in the evening, or having some time with the boys, or unwinding, or maybe even “having a relapse.” From here on in, you can be certain that hes drinking/using for the sheer pleasure of it, with no concern for anyone who might not like it.
You knew this from the start, but it’s hard to think such things
about someone you once loved so much.
How much easier it is, to believe he is suffering from a mysterious disease, and that his self-intoxication is not really betrayal of you and the family, but just a symptom of a disease.